All These Places

Today I would like to talk about shoes.  No, this is not going to become a fashion blog.  Nor will it ever.  You’re talking to the girl who tries to avoid wearing actual pants at all costs (this might be one of the top reasons for me choosing to be a yoga instructor; and the invention of the fleece legging is the only thing that makes winter bearable for me).  No… I would like to talk about the ridiculous gold glittery shoes shown in the picture below.  I wore them once to a party until the pictures were taken and I had a few glasses of wine.  And then for the safety of myself and others, I promptly took them off.

That party was two years ago and they’ve been taking up space in my closet ever since.  And it is time to let them go.  Ah, but you know me too well to think that that’s the end of the story.  I’m also the girl who blogs about the meaning behind painting my dresser and buying a red leather chair.

I set upon cleaning out my closet with a vengeance today.  Because I need to.  And because it’s the new year.  And I’m a firm believer in the fact that clearing out and tossing ‘stuff’ is wonderful practice in non attachment and letting go, two things that I had set intention to working on in 2017.  So here are the reasons that I let go of my ‘stuff’.  Feel free to read between the lines here and see what I’m really truly working on letting go of.

•  All of those things that when I put them on I just don’t feel like I look good.  They dull my colors rather than brighten them. They make me feel ‘too much’ of this and ‘not enough’ of that.  There’s simply no need to hang on to things that don’t make you feel good about yourself.
• Those things that had simply become too worn or faded over the course of time.  Perhaps they served me well some years ago but those moments have come and gone.  Wearing them, with their pills and their stains and their small little holes is just a reminder that maybe I need to retire them and admit that it’s time for something new.
• A few things have simply become too big for me.  We’ve outgrown each other.  At some point the waistline of those pants fit the waistline of my body.  But things have changed.  We no longer fit together.  Perhaps someone else can fit into these things a little better.  And I should give them that chance instead of just keeping them in my closet just so I know they’re there.
• Clothes kinda work like a little memory bank don’t they?  We can put on a dress and remember the music and the laughter from the party that we attended wearing said dress.  Sometimes it’s fun to wear these things over and over and see what new memories they can create.  Sometimes this revisiting of the past just gets too sad.  And while a gentle reflection that might lead to a little melancholy is alright from time to time, there comes a point when you just have to eliminate things that keep causing sadness.

So now I return to the ridiculous gold glittery shoes.  I put them on today and walked around the house a little bit wearing them with my yoga pants (see first paragraph).  “These aren’t so bad,” I thought.  “Maybe I should keep them just in case. They are pretty.  And they look good with that one dress.  Letting them go is hard.”

Then I walked into my bedroom, still wearing the shoes,  stepped on something and nearly broke my ankle.  Well played, universe, well played.  I get it.  Letting go is tough and because of that we can try to talk ourselves out of doing so in a million little ways.  Because we see it as a failure.  But canned foods aren’t the only thing with expiration dates (I just figured this one out while clearing my kitchen cabinets yesterday).  Relationships, habits, ways of being in the world…..they all have expiration dates.  And just because they’ve passed doesn’t mean that they have failed you, its just time to move on.  Letting go is not giving up on something.  It’s simply realizing that it no longer works for you.  And if we try to hang on past the point of expiration, then we are just setting ourselves up for broken ankles.

Anyone want these shoes?